... that Matt said:

When I tried to make him eat a salad: "I already ate healthy today. I had pizza for lunch."

Riding on BART in San Francisco: "Time to catch some lice!"

When I caught him pushing the bunny with his foot:
Me: "Don't kick her!"
Matt: "I didn't! I mean... I petted her. In the face. With my foot."

Describing traveling in Taiwan: "If you can't tell what you're smelling is food or sewage, that's a bad sign, right?"

Trying to remember the name of the drink place, Swig: "Straws? Sips? Squirts? Diarrheas?"

Being a good example to our Sunday School class: "A lot of people experiment in college. I experimented with Family History."

When I asked him if it was okay to eat some hummus that had been left out:
Matt: "Oh, one day won't hurt it."
Me: "Well, I know you'd eat it."
Matt: "I wouldn't eat it."
Me: "You wouldn't?"
Matt: "No. It's healthy."

On Harry Potter: "My patronus would be a snake. Or a race car. Do they have race car patronuses?"

Watching American Ninja Warrior: "If I was stronger, I could totally do this."

On being a world traveler: "When I go to other countries, I always think to myself, please don't judge all Americans for the things that I do."

Me: "I need a favor from you."

Matt: "If it involves me not farting, you're out of luck."

Me:
Matt: "Like, cause I already farted."

Upon hearing acapella singing on the radio: "Why is this on the radio? Anything is better than this. Nicki Minaj is better than this."

I love my Matty!!!