... that Matt said:

On his wonderfully healthy self image:

"My chest is like laying on a rock. With just a little layer of fat on top."

"We need a big lamp that will light up the whole room. Like my personality."

On diversity:

"Honey, I'm definitely more diverse because I married a half Asian woman. You, on the other hand, married me."

Kade: "I had yellow fever once."

Matt: "I still have it." *winks at me*


On socially acceptable topics of discussion:

"Honey, I think you need to realize that there is a difference between gross talk and scientific, fun talk."

"I don't know why people don't talk about hemorrhoids more."


Parking under a tree in LA: "This spot's a little shady. Just like all of Inglewood."


On healthy eating habits:

Matt: "I'm so hungry!"

Me: "You didn't eat any lunch."

Matt: "I didn't EAT lunch, but I DRANK some lunch."

Me:

Matt: "Soda. I drank soda."

"I tried to eat one of those oatmeal yogurts this morning for breakfast, and it was the worst breakfast I have ever had inside the United States."

"We're like Jack Sprat and his wife. Except I'm the wife."

"I just want to go home and relax with some sort of soda that is so large, people know it's from America."

On keeping up with hip trends:

"Are people saying 'Redbox and chill?' Is that a thing?"

"A lot of 34 year old adult men follow One Direction. Just kidding. But I did buy one of their songs. Maybe two."

When I lamented that our ward doesn't have a choir: "I am a choir unto myself."

Love my Matty!!!!!!!!!